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mensa_auTitle: Only You
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
ras_elased
Pairings: Mensa!John/Rodney, Sheppard/Rodney, hints of Mensa!John/Rod
SGA-verse or MENSA-verse: both
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: slash, explicit sex
Author's notes: Thanks to my rock star of a beta and my awesome cheerleader. You gals know who you are. *g*
Recipient:valderys
~~~
Rodney reached out to shake Rod’s hand. “Take care of them,” he said, voice low, as if sharing a secret between friends. Rod stared at him blankly for a half second, but Rodney saw that he’d figured out what Rodney meant at the exact moment Rodney snatched the personal shield from Rod’s hand. Rodney dove into the machine, lights and energy crackling all around him. The last thing he saw was John being held back by both Rod and Zelenka, face contorted in fury as he screamed at Rodney over the noise of the generators. As everything around him exploded in light, Rodney caught one word, shouted over and over again. “No!”
~~~
The lights abruptly faded. Rodney found himself once again in the lab, facing Sheppard and Zelenka. Radek looked pissed off and Sheppard…was he actually wearing glasses?
“You are back,” Radek said, sounding oddly crestfallen.
“That’s not Rod,” Sheppard said, features stiff and cold. Rodney didn’t even have a chance to open his mouth before he found himself surrounded by several very stealthy and very well-armed marines.
~~~
Once the interrogation was over, Elizabeth—who was still pretty much the same Elizabeth, except blonde—had determined Rodney posed no potential security risk “at this time.” Still, that didn’t mean Elizabeth hadn’t already stationed heavy security around the city. He spotted them standing at attention in the corridors, and tried to ignore the guards that followed distantly as Sheppard showed Rodney to the same guest quarters they’d given Rod back on Atlantis—his Atlantis. Sheppard didn’t look pleased, and Rodney suspected Elizabeth had made him tag along.
This Sheppard had the same wild hair, but his eyes were clouded behind the thick black frames. Instead of the casual slouch and hands permanently stuck in pockets, this Sheppard carried himself as if he was constantly under attack. His arms were always crossed defiantly over his chest, and his shoulders were hunched and tight like he was trying to curl in on himself. The whole tableau was so unfamiliar yet so clearly Sheppard that it made Rodney’s head hurt.
He and Sheppard stopped in the doorway to the guest quarters, and there was an awkward pause. Finally, Sheppard broke the silence. “So, seriously. Why did you come here?”
For a moment, Rodney considered telling him the truth. Everyone had seemed so…so happy with Rod around. And as much as he hated them for it and fumed with jealousy at Rod, he wasn’t going to take that away from them. They were his friends, and happiness was sometimes hard to come by in Pegasus.
Rodney decided to stick to the story he’d told in the interrogation room. “I told you, it was the only way. Somebody had to go through, and Rod needed to stay on the other side to close the bridge. He was the only person who had calculated how to manage the power fluctuations from the device, and we were running out of time.”
Sheppard peered at him doubtfully through narrowed eyes, but didn’t press further. “Okay, so then tomorrow we can start working on sending you back and getting Rod.”
“I can’t go back! It’s impossible! The connection was sealed behind me!”
John raised one disdainful eyebrow, as if Rodney had just made a particularly unfunny joke. “We’ll see about that,” he said, then left for the nearest transporter.
Rodney decided Sheppard’s idiotic optimism and “leave no man behind” stubborn streak were wide enough to bridge the gap between universes.
~~~
The next morning, Rodney walked into the lab to see Sheppard bent over a complicated-looking device, elbow deep in crystals and wires. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Rodney bellowed. “That’s highly sensitive equipment you’re molesting!”
“Relax, McKay!” Sheppard spat back defensively. “You’re acting like I’ve never calibrated a crystal interface before.” As Rodney just gaped silently, an odd look passed over Sheppard’s face. “Oh. Really?”
“Not once,” Rodney confirmed.
Sheppard frowned. “That’s weird,” he observed, then turned his attention back to the interface. He deftly made adjustments without the aid of a laptop or even a calculator, obviously doing the calculations in his head. Rodney tried to look like this wasn’t something out of a wet dream come to life. After all, this wasn’t his John, anyway.
Once Rodney had somewhat acclimated himself to the sight of Sheppard working in the lab, they spent most of the morning going at each other about the mathematic plausibility—or implausibility, as Rodney insisted—of inverse wormholes and energy requirements. Rodney did his best to punch holes in all of Sheppard’s surprisingly almost-feasible theories, because while he didn’t relish trying to fit into Rod’s shadow here, he hated doing it while Rod was around even more. Hence the reason he’d decided to leave.
Sheppard and Rodney took a break from butting heads long enough to present a unified front when Radek tried to haughtily correct their work. Apparently, on this Atlantis, he really was the conniving, opportunistic little spotlight-hog that Rodney had always half-heartedly accused him of being back home. It seemed to be common knowledge that this Radek was after his job, and was not above sinking to startling depths to get it.
By contrast, the Kavanagh of this world was a brown-nosing little weasel and kept bringing Rodney gifts of chocolate and coffee with such startling frequency that Sheppard finally had to kick him out of the lab. The whole scenario was wreaking havoc on Rodney’s ability to concentrate, and it wasn’t until Elizabeth came to take them to lunch that Rodney realized how many surreal hours had passed.
Rodney knew she was checking up on him, but all the explanation she gave was, “You know how John gets. He’d waste away to nothing if someone didn’t make sure to drag him away from the lab once in a while.” Sheppard snorted and rolled his eyes, and Elizabeth smiled at Rodney as if sharing a private joke. Her smile faltered when she realized Rodney was staring at her hair.
Once at the mess, Elizabeth guided them over to a table where Ronon and Teyla were already seated, and Rodney’s stomach dropped. Neither of them looked happy, and with good reason. Ronon had shown up at Rodney’s door at some unholy hour of the morning, expecting to take him out on the morning run and sparring session he and Rod normally shared. The normally unflappable Ronon had actually raised a wary eyebrow at the horror of an uncaffeinated McKay, and didn’t seem to appreciate the groggy insults to his intelligence and the command to go find Sheppard instead.
Ronon had blinked at him stoically. “He never spars with me. He doesn’t like to lose,” he'd rumbled by way of explanation.
“Well, neither do I!” Rodney had shouted into his pillow. “Now go away!”
Teyla, for her part, had not said one word to him. She had looked in on him briefly during the interrogation, but had since given him a wide berth.
They made small talk for a while, and Rodney somehow inadvertently managed to insult everyone at the table. John, who had conducted the interrogation and spent all day in the lab with Rodney, had gotten over his shock at the occasional bursts of acidic sarcasm. Everyone else simply gaped at him. Teyla’s raised eyebrow was the closest thing to an expression Rodney had seen on her face since he arrived.
Midway through the meal, Sheppard handed Rodney his radio with a sour look. “It’s for you,” he explained.
“Dr. McKay?” Dr. Esposito’s voice came through softly. “I hate to bother you, but the transporters are acting up on level three, and since you know the systems better than anyone…” Esposito gave a shy giggle. Rodney puffed his chest a little. Okay, so she obviously didn’t realize she wasn’t talking to Rod, but really, that was just semantics.
Elizabeth tapped her radio. “I’m sorry, Dr. McKay is…indisposed at the moment. Perhaps Dr. Zelenka would be a better choice.”
“Zelenka? Are you kidding me? He’d probably use the opportunity to rig something up to vaporize me as soon as I stepped into the transporter. No, no, no, I’ll do it.” He stuffed the last half of a cupcake in his mouth, then remembered Sheppard and mumbled, “I mean, if you can spare me.”
Sheppard’s expression wavered between disgust and exasperation. “I think I can manage,” he said, infusing the statement with as much sarcasm as he could.
Rodney rolled his eyes at that and left, pointedly ignoring the relieved glances everyone threw each other.
~~~
By the time Rodney made it back to the lab, it was deserted except for Sheppard. He was slumped over a laptop, out cold and snoring slightly. His face was smashed half on top of the keyboard, his glasses askew, the shifting light of the screensaver washing over his features. There were at least seven coffee cups littered around his workstation.
Rodney had to take a moment to pause in the doorway and just look. Even in sleep, his Sheppard had never looked this, well…this vulnerable. “Sheppard?” he called quietly into the stillness of the lab. When Sheppard didn’t stir, Rodney reached out to not-quite touch John’s shoulder. “Sheppard,” he said again, a little louder this time.
Sheppard’s body jerked awake, but it took a moment for his brain to follow. Fumbling to straighten his glasses, he blinked and said, “What time is it?”
Rodney just peered at him. Sheppard tiredly pressed fingers to his eyes behind his glasses. “Late,” Rodney finally replied. “Or early, depending on how you want to look at it.” Sheppard picked up an empty coffee cup and glared blearily at it, as if it had somehow betrayed him. “Look, maybe…And if you tell anyone I said this, I will shave your head in your sleep—but maybe it’s time to call it a night,” Rodney suggested.
Sheppard turned his betrayed look on Rodney. “That’s not an option, McKay. I’m getting him back. I don’t know what it’s like where you come from but around here we don’t leave our people behind!”
“Oh, for god’s sake!” Rodney rolled his eyes. “From what I understood, everyone figured it was a one-way trip when you let him go!”
“I didn’t let him go! It was his own stupid—” John shouted, then seemed to reign in some of his frustration. “I’m not giving up. You may be ready to throw in the towel, but I’ve never failed at anything in my life, and I’ll be damned if I’m gonna start now.”
Sheppard turned back to the laptop with an angry huff, and Rodney very carefully didn’t snort at John’s words. He realized John was telling the truth. It would certainly explain a lot. The way Sheppard had to go above and beyond what was expected of him, determined to impress everyone around him, the way he snapped at anyone who dared to question his work, they way he seemed obsessed with being the perfect soldier.
After a few moments of listening to Sheppard tap the keys with a ferocity that couldn’t be good for the equipment, Rodney very deliberately laid a hand on Sheppard’s shoulder. He stiffened under Rodney’s palm, and Rodney tried not to think about how back on Atlantis, his Sheppard had always initiated any touching that had gone on between them. “I’m not saying you have to give up,” Rodney said. “But you’re not doing anyone any favors if you collapse on the keyboard and idiotically blow up half the city. Come back tomorrow, and we can start fresh.”
Sheppard looked like he was stubbornly refusing to be hopeful. “We?”
Rodney stuck his chin out defensively. “Yes, ‘we.’ But only because I think you had something when you were trying to calculate the rate of electron spin in an inverted wormhole.”
“Really? I thought you said—”
“Tomorrow, Sheppard.”
~~~
When Rodney got back to his guest quarters, he hacked Sheppard’s file. It was ridiculously easy, since Rod had obviously set up the security codes. What he found wasn’t terribly surprising at first.
Sheppard had become a member of Mensa at age 17, just before attending the Air Force Academy on an academic scholarship. He’d graduated with a degree in aerospace engineering, then had gone on to MIT for a dual master in engineering and applied math. He never became a pilot due to his poor eyesight, but his vision at least fell within the 20/200 range that allowed him to become a flight navigator.
He had been commended in Afghanistan for assisting in the rescue of a downed helicopter captain, and had been recruited by Elizabeth to work in Antarctica, researching the drone propulsion system. Rodney suspected that no matter how Sheppard had gotten there, the chair had been just as much of a surprise here as it had been in Rodney’s reality.
The shock came when Rodney reached the mission reports. John was apparently cautious to a fault. He never rushed into any situation without a plan, and readily followed orders. He seemed to rely on Rod for any guesswork or quick thinking. While that wasn’t entirely surprising, the rest of Sheppard’s service record was impeccable. Rodney stayed up until dawn, reading the mission reports and remembering what his Sheppard was like, back home.
~~~
The next morning, Rodney walked into the lab to find Sheppard bent over the same laptop he’d been forced to abandon last night. Their eyes met and after an awkward moment, Sheppard gave him a terse nod. Rodney returned it with a sigh, then said, “Show me what you’ve got.” If Rodney was going to do this for Sheppard, he was at least going to do it right.
Progress was slow at first. They tiptoed around each other for a while until Sheppard seemed satisfied that Rodney was there to help, not hinder as he’d done before. The underlying competitive streak Rodney had shared with his Sheppard somehow snuck into his dealings with this Sheppard.
Sheppard took great pleasure in correcting Rodney’s work. At one point, he leaned over Rodney’s shoulder and pointed to the result of his calculations. “Are you positive that’s the right answer?”
Momentarily distracted by how similar this Sheppard’s scent was to the way he remembered his Sheppard smelling, like soap and gun oil and cheap aftershave, Rodney almost missed the question. “Yes, I’m sure,” Rodney snapped distractedly.
“But are you positive?” he said again, and Rodney squinted at his work. Frowning, he realized he’d reversed the polarity, and grudgingly changed the negative to a positive. He glanced up to see Sheppard smirking at him, and he had to roll his eyes to cover up the way that look made him just a little homesick.
By the end of the day, Rodney was exhausted, but in a good way. He’d been unable to resist the lure of solving the unsolvable problem, and he’d been allowed to work all day relatively uninterrupted. Sheppard and Kavanagh were the only two people in the lab willing to come within a ten foot radius of Rodney, all of the others too put off by his acerbic arrogance, so different from the Rod they knew. Even Radek had stopped making debasing comments after the third or fourth time Rodney had put him in his place, and he had finally resigned himself to puttering around his section of the lab and grumbling darkly in Czech.
Rodney’s stomach rumbled and he flinched as Kavanagh clapped him on the back in a friendly manner. “You’ve been working hard all day, Dr. McKay,” he said with a warm grin, all teeth. “Why don’t you grab something to eat and call it a night? I’ll clean up your station for you.”
Rodney eyed him warily until his stomach sounded its agreement with that plan. “Yeah,” he said, suddenly feeling very tired. “That actually sounds like a good idea.”
“If you’re feeling up to it later, we’re having a Mensa meeting after dinner tonight. I know the other Dr. McKay never came, but I thought, well…you look like you could use a break.” Motioning across the room to Sheppard, Kavanagh added, “Both of you.”
Rodney glanced at Sheppard, watching as he tiredly rubbed the bridge of his nose under the glasses. “Yeah,” Rodney agreed. “Maybe.”
Despite Rodney’s reluctance, after dinner he found himself outside Kavanagh’s quarters. He could hear something of a commotion inside, but he couldn’t make out the words. Although one of the voices was clearly Sheppard’s. Rodney wondered if maybe all the yelling was about him, if Kavanagh had let slip that he’d invited Rodney. Deciding he’d rather not discover just how unwelcome he was in this universe too, Rodney turned to leave just as the door opened on its own.
His presence went largely ignored, the occupants of the room too wrapped up in the shouting match taking place between Sheppard and Zelenka.
“Oh, please!” Sheppard scoffed. “Everything about that movie is wrong! Do you have the slightest idea of how mathematically impossible time travel is?”
“This coming from the man who tried to build a working model of a flux capacitor,” Radek sneered.
Sheppard crossed his arms as his scowl deepened. “First of all, I was twelve. And second of all, the equations I derived at that age make your theories on gravitational quanta look like—”
The sound of Kavanagh clearing his throat cut the argument short, and a dozen pairs of wide eyes turned to Rodney, still hovering in the doorway. Simpson closed her gaping mouth long enough to stutter, “Dr. McKay?”
Rodney was on the verge of escaping with some mumbled excuse about having the wrong room when Sheppard called out, “What do you think, McKay? What’s the worst sci fi movie ever made?”
Accepting the challenge in Sheppard’s tone, Rodney stepped over the threshold. “Armageddon. No question.”
The night wore on in much the same manner, filled mostly with good-natured debates over topics like the feasibility of nth-dimensional space and the merits of various incarnations of Doctor Who. Everyone seemed to put up with Radek’s sour attitude simply because he provided the booze, and when Rodney took his first swig of the foul concoction he was pleased to note that some things never changed. The mood in the room lifted after Sheppard challenged Radek to a prime-not-prime battle to the death—and inevitably won. Radek was too busy sulking to ruin the fun for everyone else.
Sometime after the third round of Beer Trek, Rodney flopped down next to Sheppard on the couch and said, “Is that why you never train with Ronon?”
Sheppard took a drink as a red shirt died onscreen, then blinked at Rodney. “What?”
“Your pathological fear of failure. Is that why you never train with Ronon? Because you know he’ll kick your ass?”
Sheppard’s expression grew shuttered behind his glasses, and Rodney had enough presence of mind to realize that maybe Radek’s booze was making him even less tactful than usual. “I just mean—”
“I know what you mean, McKay,” Sheppard bit out, looking like he wanted nothing more than to bolt from the room. “And I really don’t think that’s any of your business.”
“Right. Sorry. I just—I thought we could relate.” He blinked tipsily. “Or something.”
“You want to bond over mutual psychoses?” Sheppard scrunched his eyebrows and frowned. “You’re really bad at this.”
“Yeah, well, if this is how you treat everyone who tries to befriend you then you’re no better at it than me,” Rodney huffed.
They sat on the couch in silence for a while, then Sheppard slowly turned to Rodney. “You play chess?”
The corner of Rodney’s mouth twitched upwards. “Prepare to learn what it’s like to fail, Sheppard.”
~~~
One quiet afternoon in the lab, Rodney was checking the latest readouts when he heard Sheppard say, “You never call me John.”
Rodney glanced over to find Sheppard staring a little too intently at his laptop, like he hadn’t just dropped that statement into the room out of nowhere. “What?”
“It’s just, Rod sometimes called me John, and you never do,” Sheppard said into his laptop.
Rodney considered him for a moment. “You never call me Rodney,” he countered. Another pause while Sheppard pretended to be engrossed in his own readouts. “Do you want me to?” Rodney finally asked.
Sheppard just shrugged. They never said anything more about it, but by unspoken agreement they started calling each other by their first names.
~~~
A week later, they went on their first mission.
Teyla had seemed cautiously optimistic about the planet, a potential trading partner the Athosians had a limited but successful history with. Still, Rodney found it disconcerting the way she felt the need to qualify all her statements with things like, “They seem to be a peaceful people, but I would advise you to bring small, concealable weapons.”
When they were suiting up in the room that passed for the men’s locker, Rodney saw Ronon adding extra knives to his hair. “Are you sure this mission is such a good idea?” he asked. “Teyla seemed rather…concerned.”
John frowned. “Teyla’s always like that,” he said. “She’s had enough ‘allies’ turn around to bite her in the ass that she doesn’t trust anyone too easily anymore. On that first mission, she was about to kick us off her planet if the Wraith hadn’t arrived.”
Rodney was still processing this information when they stepped through the gate. He hazarded an assessing glance at Teyla, and realized he’d actually heard Ronon utter more words than her in the time he’d been on this Atlantis. Rod hadn't been exaggerating when he'd said she was hard to talk to.
An hour later, they passed the same tree for what Rodney swore was the third time. “How can you have such a bad sense of direction? I thought you were a navigator.”
John’s lips thinned in frustration. “Everything looks different from the air,” he muttered, then slid his eyes sideways to glare at Rodney. “Wait a minute, did you hack my file?”
Rodney was saved from answering when the path opened up to reveal a small village. John gave Rodney a superior glower, then took the lead.
The village was run by a triumvirate of leaders, two men and one woman. Introductions seemed to go off without a hitch, and the woman even seemed to have a rudimentary knowledge of some basic scientific principals. She even offered to show them some of the Ancient artifacts in the temple.
As they followed her lead, John leaned over and whispered, “Rodney, stick close to me. I know you’re not Rod, but we can’t afford for you to go wandering off after the first damsel in distress you find. Remember, this is a scientific mission.”
“Oh, har har,” Rodney started, but then got a good look at John’s face. “Wait, seriously? You think she’d—”
John grimaced. “Just try to keep it in your pants this time, Kirk.”
~~~
As so often seemed to happen in the Pegasus galaxy, half an hour later Rodney and John found themselves running for their lives.
They’d gotten separated from Ronon and Teyla, and were pinned down near the tree line. Sheppard let out a burst of gunfire over Rodney’s head as Rodney tracked their pursuers’ movements on the life signs detector. Things weren’t looking good.
John slumped down next to Rodney behind the fallen tree they were using for cover. “So, what’s our situation?”
Rodney’s eyes hadn’t left the life signs detector. “Six of them in the forest, more on their way. Closing fast.”
“And I’m almost out of ammo.” John bit his lip. “Their cover’s too good. We need something to draw them out in the open.”
John rechecked his clip and Rodney withdrew his Beretta from his thigh holster. “Yeah, okay,” he said, then took off. He shot blindly into the trees, running low across the open field towards an upturned boulder. The ground exploded at his feet as bullets impact the dirt, and distantly he heard John’s voice shouting his name, then a long burst of P-90 fire.
Rodney was nearly to the boulder when John buzzed by him, grabbing his arm and pulling him to the dry river bed below, hidden by the hillside. He hauled Rodney along at breakneck speeds, trying to put as much distance between them and their pursuers as possible.
Rodney’s lungs were burning and his legs were threatening to buckle by the time John yanked Rodney by the front of his tac vest and slammed him up against cool rock. Rodney blinked and tried to catch his breath, noticing John had somehow pulled him into a small, secluded outcropping of rock. The sound of heavy footsteps and voices shouting orders could be heard on the hilltop above them, and both men held their breath until the noises died away. A split second later John’s face was inches from Rodney’s as he angrily spat, “What the hell was that, McKay?” John shook him by the vest, refocusing Rodney’s attention on his furious expression. “You can’t just do things like that, not when—” John paused, then shoved himself away from Rodney, who barely managed to hold himself upright without John’s weight pinning him. “God, that is just like you! Doing something stupidly noble like that without thinking about—I can’t lose you again!”
John swallowed hard, and his breath was coming in short, angry huffs. The air grew still and tense between them. Rodney took a shaky step forward, and the next thing he knew he was pressing against John’s body, their mouths coming together in a hot, desperate kiss. John’s hands instantly came up to frame Rodney’s face, his mouth opening to let Rodney’s tongue inside, meeting it with his own. John pushed him up against the rocks for the second time in as many minutes, shoving a thigh between Rodney’s legs and grinding their hips together, making Rodney gasp into John’s mouth.
“Colonel Sheppard, we have secured the gate,” Teyla’s voice was clipped and tinny over the radio.
They froze, and after a minute John reluctantly pulled back. He stared at Rodney for several long seconds, mouth wet and eyes dark behind his glasses. They barely breathed.
“Sheppard, you coming?” Ronon asked through the radio.
“Yeah,” John said, taking a step back and licking his lips. “We’re on our way.”
~~~
The post-mission debriefing seemed longer and more tedious than usual. Rodney kept casting furtive glances across the table, but John had stubbornly refused to look at him since they’d gated back from the planet. When Elizabeth finally dismissed them, John couldn’t seem to leave the room fast enough.
Rodney spent a good half hour simultaneously moping and freaking out in his guest quarters before the door opened without a knock. John hovered in the doorway, and for a long time neither one of them said anything. Finally, Rodney spoke. “I’m not him.”
John held his fists at his side. “Neither am I.”
Rodney let out the breath he’d been holding, then crossed the room and pulled John inside by the front of his shirt. The kiss was fast and dirty, and before Rodney knew it John had him up against the wall, in the same position as before, right where they’d left off.
Rodney felt like something inside of him was tearing wide open. He wasn’t sure if what he was feeling was guilt or relief or comfort, or maybe all three, or maybe something else entirely. He was lost in the feeling of John’s hands on his body, John’s lips against his, only this wasn’t really John. But he wanted it to be, and the more they touched the harder it was for Rodney to distinguish reality from the bone deep ache he’d felt since watching his John’s face vanish in a haze of white light. Then John shoved one hand down the front of Rodney’s BDUs, stroking his cock as he lightly bit his neck, and Rodney stopped trying to think, could do nothing but feel as he arched into the touch.
“God, I miss you,” John whispered into the hollow of Rodney’s collarbone, just quiet enough that Rodney suspected John didn’t know he’d said it, or that Rodney wasn’t meant to hear. Then John slid to his knees and started fumbling Rodney’s pants open with shaking hands, a look of intense concentration on his face. Rodney watched his cheeks turn an endearing shade of pink at the sight of his freed erection. John couldn’t have done this very often, or at all, if the sight of another man’s cock could make him flush to the tips of his ears.
“John, if you’ve never…I mean, you don’t have to…” John seemed to take Rodney’s stuttered words as a personal challenge, because it earned Rodney a black-framed glare and then a hot, wet mouth around the end of his cock. Rodney groaned and let his head fall back against the wall.
John sucked Rodney’s cock in and out of his mouth, gagging a few times when desperation and inexperience combined to make him go too deep, too fast. Rodney stilled him with gentle fingers through his hair, and John actually whimpered around the head of Rodney’s cock, then leaned into the touch like a cat. Rodney moaned, wishing he could see the shadows of John’s eyelashes fluttering against his cheeks, but the view was blocked by the rim of his glasses.
John was a genius, a Mensa member, a fucking rocket scientist, so of course it didn’t take him long to learn how to give a mind-numbing blowjob. He pumped Rodney’s shaft with his fist and licked around the head, and all too soon Rodney gasped, “Oh, John, oh god, I’m gonna…” And then John took him as deep as he could, sucking hard as Rodney came in his mouth.
Rodney drifted back from his orgasm to find John’s face pressed against his thigh. He was thrusting into one hand as the other worked the head of his cock. Rodney only had a second to enjoy the sight before John threw his head back and came with a strangled groan, hands slowing as he trembled through his release.
They stayed like that until their breathing began to even out. Rodney’s knees felt like water, and John was clinging to Rodney’s leg like he might fall away to nothing if he let go. After a long time, John mumbled against Rodney’s inseam, “I’m not giving up on the bridge.”
Rodney sighed and ran lax fingers through John’s hair. “I didn’t expect you to.”
They clumsily made their way to the bed, belatedly stripping before collapsing in a tangle of limbs, and Rodney barely got John’s glasses off before John smashed his face into the pillow and started snoring. Rodney smiled despite himself and curled up against John’s back, determined to make sure they took their time with each other in the morning.
~~~
The weeks went by and Rodney almost got used to having John in his bed. It was so close to what he’d wanted, if he ignored the way the second syllable of his name always came a little late on John’s lips. But he liked the way John would curl up against his side in sleep, and when Rodney ran his hands over John’s body he always pictured a few more battle scars than he actually felt. It wasn’t perfect, what they had, but sometimes it was close.
Then it all changed.
Rodney was on his way out of the lab when it happened. He was supposed to meet John for dinner in the mess, and they were serving real meatloaf and mashed potatoes. Understandably, he was in something of a rush, but then he heard it. The echo of a fizzy, popping noise, and then…
“Rodney!” a voice called from behind him. He knew there was only one person who said his name like that, and it wasn’t anyone born in this universe.
Spinning on his heel, Rodney took in the figure barreling down the corridor. “Sheppard?” he gaped.
“What the hell were you thinking?” Sheppard bellowed, Rod trailing after him, and then he was suddenly surrounded by marines.
~~~
Elizabeth took Rod into her office to help explain the situation, because Rodney and Sheppard were too busy yelling at each other for anyone to get a word in edgewise.
“So, you thought you were doing me a favor? That is hands-down the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard!” Sheppard yelled, red-faced. “Did you really think I wouldn’t come after you at the first chance I got?”
“Yes!” Rodney shouted back, and had a brief pang of guilt at Sheppard’s obvious hurt. “And it’s been over two months, Colonel! I hardly think this is the first chance you got!”
“You blew out the ZPM, Rodney! It’s not like I could just pop in a new set of batteries and be on my way!”
“Rodney,” John’s voice came quietly from the doorway, but his tone was clipped and even, the way he got when he was upset. Rodney felt a migraine coming on. “Can you give us a minute, Colonel?” Sheppard eyed his other self warily, but John just crossed his arms and held his gaze. Sheppard nodded reluctantly, then gave Rodney a look that clearly said they weren’t finished here before stomping from the room.
John crossed the room quietly, stopping in front of Rodney. “You should go with him,” he said at length, then skimmed a hand up Rodney’s arm, from wrist to elbow. “We both know you want to.”
The thing was, Rodney wasn’t so sure about that. He’d left in the first place because he didn’t think there was anything left for him there. He didn’t see how any of that had changed.
A throat cleared in the doorway, and they both turned to see Rod standing there, watching them. John slowly dropped his hand from Rodney’s arm and looked at him with soft eyes. Rodney may not be jumping at the chance to leave, but he knew he couldn’t stay. He couldn’t watch John and Rod together every day. Rodney felt a lump form in his throat. “Look, just because there was a happy ending for you doesn’t mean there’s one for me!” he choked out, then hurried from the room.
Rodney was stomping towards his quarters when he felt a hand on his arm. “What?” he shouted angrily, turning sharply. He was surprised to find Teyla looking back at him, face unreadable. “Oh, sorry. Um, what?”
“Dr. McKay,” she began, then faltered, as if not quite knowing how to put together her words. After a moment, she said, “I have enough experience with deception to know that the reasons you gave during the interrogation were not the true reasons that you came here.” She paused and met Rodney’s eyes. “I do not know why you came here, but aside from this, I do know that you have not lied to us about anything else.” Rodney blinked, and she took a step closer. “I admit, though I know his intentions are good, I have a difficult time trusting Rod. I sometimes believe he is simply telling me what he believes I wish to hear.” A small smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. “I do not believe that is the case with you. You have my trust, Dr. McKay, freely given. You should take that as the honor it is intended to be.”
Rodney just stared, struck dumb by her words, and she gently laid strong hands on his shoulders. She pulled him forwards until their foreheads met, then pulled back to give him a warm smile and a quirked eyebrow. “For what it is worth, I do not believe I am the only one who values this quality among your many gifts.”
And with that, she was gone. John caught up to him in the empty corridor several minutes later.
“John,” Rodney said, “I’m going home.”
~~~
Rodney was welcomed home with open arms, literally in Elizabeth’s case. She hugged him tight and whispered into his ear, “Don’t you ever do that to us again.” Ronon had simply grunted and given him five extra pudding cups at lunch. Things quickly went back to normal after that.
Rodney’s first mission back was to MKX-785. The people were warm and hospitable, and Rodney was thankful for an easy mission for once. The villagers threw a party in honor of the new trade agreement, complete with dancing and food and lots of wine, and at the end of the night Rodney fell asleep in a warm, soft bed. The next morning came too soon, and Rodney was still in that middle ground between awake and asleep when he felt someone gently grasp his shoulder. “Time to get up, Rodney.”
Still barely conscious, Rodney reached out to grasp the hand on his shoulder, recognizing it by touch. He knotted their fingers together and settled their twined hands against his chest, breathing out in a sleepy sigh, “G’back t’sleep, John.”
Rodney hung on the precipice a minute longer, and then he fell into wakefulness with a start. He opened his eyes to see Sheppard looking back at him, his gaze cold and distant. Slowly, Sheppard extricated his hand from Rodney’s.
“Gather your stuff, McKay,” he said tonelessly. “We’re heading back.”
~~~
Hours later, Rodney stepped inside his darkened quarters, and it took him a moment to realize Sheppard was there waiting for him. He was standing by the bed, arms crossed and shoulders hunched in a posture so reminiscent of the way the other John had stood that Rodney had to close his eyes and breathe.
“You called him John.” Sheppard’s voice was quiet, but there was an edge to it. When Rodney didn’t say anything for a while, Sheppard continued in an even quieter voice, “What else did you do?”
Rodney wanted to lie. He wanted to look Sheppard in the eyes and say, “Nothing. I have no idea what you’re talking about.” What came out was, “Don’t play dumb, Colonel. It’s not a good look for you.”
Sheppard looked like he’d just taken a punch to his gut. After several of the most tense seconds of Rodney’s life, Sheppard said in a vengeful rush, “I kissed Rod.”
Of all the things Rodney had expected Sheppard to say, that wasn’t even on the list. He was struck completely dumb, left staring into the middle distance, not knowing what to think. When Sheppard didn’t get a response, he seemed to give in to his desire to run and shoved swiftly past Rodney. Without conscious thought, Rodney’s hand latched on to Sheppard’s arm as he passed. “John, I—”
“Don’t call me that!” he said, shrugging out of Rodney’s grip and whirling around so fast Rodney had to take a step back.
Rodney just blinked at him, holding his hands out like a person would to a frightened wild animal. “Okay, Sheppard, it’s…I’m sorry.”
That was all it took. All the fight drained out of Sheppard, and he crumpled in on himself, pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes. “God, I just…I walked into the lab, and his face lit up over something, I don’t know, and it reminded me…I just missed you so damn much.”
Rodney took a hesitant step forward. “Well, I’m here now,” he offered helpfully.
The next thing Rodney knew he was being crushed and suffocated. Sheppard’s arms were clamped tight around his ribs, his mouth on Rodney’s like he was trying to suck the air from his lungs. Sheppard pulled back just as Rodney was getting lightheaded. “God, Rodney, I’m so sorry,” he mumbled between pressing kisses into the skin of Rodney’s neck. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you…didn’t show…” And then his lips were on Rodney’s again, gentler this time. “No one but you, Rodney…I don’t want anyone but you.” Slowly, Rodney felt the stiffness in his spine start to melt away, and he opened his mouth to Sheppard’s kisses.
They lost their clothing somewhere between the doorway and the bed. Sheppard fell back onto the thin comforter, pulling Rodney with him, unwilling to let even an inch of space come between them. They touched each other everywhere, cocks, chest, neck, stomach, a mix of too much and not enough skin all at once. Rodney slipped his tongue into Sheppard’s mouth and felt Sheppard gasp and moan, chest hitching under Rodney’s fingertips. Sheppard’s hand came up to cover his, pressing his palm flat over Sheppard’s frantic heartbeat.
Rodney watched, entranced, as Sheppard lifted his hand to his mouth and pressed his velvet-soft lips to the palm. He turned Rodney’s hand to cup his face, nuzzling it with his cheek before kissing it again. “I missed these hands,” he whispered.
“Why?” Rodney couldn’t help whispering back. “You could look at Rod’s every day.”
“They don’t move like yours,” Sheppard answered, then sucked the tip of Rodney’s index finger into his mouth. When he bit it gently between his teeth, the sensation rocketed straight to Rodney’s cock, and he groaned low in his chest. Sheppard responded with a matching groan as he pulled Rodney down into a deep, wet kiss. “Rodney, I need—put your hands on me. Please.”
The sound of Sheppard begging just for his hands nearly undid Rodney. He skimmed his hands down from Sheppard’s neck, over his chest, and followed the line of hair down his stomach. When he wrapped one broad hand around Sheppard’s rock hard cock, Sheppard’s hips lifted off the bed with a sharp cry. Rodney pressed his other hand to Sheppard’s stomach to steady him, drawing soothing circles with his thumb just below Sheppard’s navel. Rodney’s hand on Sheppard’s cock wasn’t even moving, but the needy, breathless sounds Sheppard was making were amazing.
On a whim, Rodney lifted his hand from Sheppard’s stomach and grabbed the small bottle of lotion he kept on his nightstand. He fumbled it opened and slicked up two fingers, then pressed just the tips against Sheppard’s entrance. Sheppard moaned, loud and long, and spread his legs wider. “Yeah, Rodney, oh. Do it,” he urged.
Rodney pushed one finger inside, watching it disappear into Sheppard’s body. His other hand began slowly working Sheppard’s cock, rubbing his thumb over the moisture at the tip. Sheppard all but stopped breathing, body trembling like he was going to fly apart. It only got better when Rodney added a second finger. “Oh my god, you are so fucking hot,” he muttered. “I had no idea you were like this.”
“Only for you,” Sheppard managed between panting breaths, and Rodney couldn’t hold back the groan that seemed to come from every part of his body at once.
“Sheppard, I want—can I—”
“Yes,” he nearly shouted. “God, please, Rodney. Please.”
Rodney felt like he couldn’t get his cock slicked up fast enough, and then he was right there, pressing inside Sheppard’s tight, hot body. The hand still on Sheppard’s cock started moving faster in time with his thrusts. Sheppard’s legs wrapped around Rodney’s waist, back arching a little higher with each thrust, until finally he threw his head back with a silent gasp and came. The feeling of Sheppard’s muscles clenching around Rodney’s cock set off his own orgasm, and he shouted Sheppard’s name before he collapsed against his chest, sweaty and spent and utterly satisfied.
Afterwards, Rodney felt Sheppard’s fingers threading through his hair, all but petting him, but he somehow couldn’t muster the energy to be properly indignant about it. Sliding up Sheppard’s body, he mashed his face against Sheppard’s shoulder and said, “We should definitely do that at least once a day for the rest of our lives.”
Sheppard’s hands paused in his hair, just for a moment, before they resumed their stroking. “Deal,” he said. “But on one condition.”
“Yes, yes,” Rodney sleepily grumbled his assent. “Only if it’s you. No doppelgangers allowed.” He yawned into Sheppard’s neck. “Only you.”
Rodney felt Sheppard smile into his hair. “Only you.”
~fin~
[Poll #975104]
Author:
ras_elasedPairings: Mensa!John/Rodney, Sheppard/Rodney, hints of Mensa!John/Rod
SGA-verse or MENSA-verse: both
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: slash, explicit sex
Author's notes: Thanks to my rock star of a beta and my awesome cheerleader. You gals know who you are. *g*
Recipient:
valderys~~~
Rodney reached out to shake Rod’s hand. “Take care of them,” he said, voice low, as if sharing a secret between friends. Rod stared at him blankly for a half second, but Rodney saw that he’d figured out what Rodney meant at the exact moment Rodney snatched the personal shield from Rod’s hand. Rodney dove into the machine, lights and energy crackling all around him. The last thing he saw was John being held back by both Rod and Zelenka, face contorted in fury as he screamed at Rodney over the noise of the generators. As everything around him exploded in light, Rodney caught one word, shouted over and over again. “No!”
~~~
The lights abruptly faded. Rodney found himself once again in the lab, facing Sheppard and Zelenka. Radek looked pissed off and Sheppard…was he actually wearing glasses?
“You are back,” Radek said, sounding oddly crestfallen.
“That’s not Rod,” Sheppard said, features stiff and cold. Rodney didn’t even have a chance to open his mouth before he found himself surrounded by several very stealthy and very well-armed marines.
~~~
Once the interrogation was over, Elizabeth—who was still pretty much the same Elizabeth, except blonde—had determined Rodney posed no potential security risk “at this time.” Still, that didn’t mean Elizabeth hadn’t already stationed heavy security around the city. He spotted them standing at attention in the corridors, and tried to ignore the guards that followed distantly as Sheppard showed Rodney to the same guest quarters they’d given Rod back on Atlantis—his Atlantis. Sheppard didn’t look pleased, and Rodney suspected Elizabeth had made him tag along.
This Sheppard had the same wild hair, but his eyes were clouded behind the thick black frames. Instead of the casual slouch and hands permanently stuck in pockets, this Sheppard carried himself as if he was constantly under attack. His arms were always crossed defiantly over his chest, and his shoulders were hunched and tight like he was trying to curl in on himself. The whole tableau was so unfamiliar yet so clearly Sheppard that it made Rodney’s head hurt.
He and Sheppard stopped in the doorway to the guest quarters, and there was an awkward pause. Finally, Sheppard broke the silence. “So, seriously. Why did you come here?”
For a moment, Rodney considered telling him the truth. Everyone had seemed so…so happy with Rod around. And as much as he hated them for it and fumed with jealousy at Rod, he wasn’t going to take that away from them. They were his friends, and happiness was sometimes hard to come by in Pegasus.
Rodney decided to stick to the story he’d told in the interrogation room. “I told you, it was the only way. Somebody had to go through, and Rod needed to stay on the other side to close the bridge. He was the only person who had calculated how to manage the power fluctuations from the device, and we were running out of time.”
Sheppard peered at him doubtfully through narrowed eyes, but didn’t press further. “Okay, so then tomorrow we can start working on sending you back and getting Rod.”
“I can’t go back! It’s impossible! The connection was sealed behind me!”
John raised one disdainful eyebrow, as if Rodney had just made a particularly unfunny joke. “We’ll see about that,” he said, then left for the nearest transporter.
Rodney decided Sheppard’s idiotic optimism and “leave no man behind” stubborn streak were wide enough to bridge the gap between universes.
~~~
The next morning, Rodney walked into the lab to see Sheppard bent over a complicated-looking device, elbow deep in crystals and wires. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Rodney bellowed. “That’s highly sensitive equipment you’re molesting!”
“Relax, McKay!” Sheppard spat back defensively. “You’re acting like I’ve never calibrated a crystal interface before.” As Rodney just gaped silently, an odd look passed over Sheppard’s face. “Oh. Really?”
“Not once,” Rodney confirmed.
Sheppard frowned. “That’s weird,” he observed, then turned his attention back to the interface. He deftly made adjustments without the aid of a laptop or even a calculator, obviously doing the calculations in his head. Rodney tried to look like this wasn’t something out of a wet dream come to life. After all, this wasn’t his John, anyway.
Once Rodney had somewhat acclimated himself to the sight of Sheppard working in the lab, they spent most of the morning going at each other about the mathematic plausibility—or implausibility, as Rodney insisted—of inverse wormholes and energy requirements. Rodney did his best to punch holes in all of Sheppard’s surprisingly almost-feasible theories, because while he didn’t relish trying to fit into Rod’s shadow here, he hated doing it while Rod was around even more. Hence the reason he’d decided to leave.
Sheppard and Rodney took a break from butting heads long enough to present a unified front when Radek tried to haughtily correct their work. Apparently, on this Atlantis, he really was the conniving, opportunistic little spotlight-hog that Rodney had always half-heartedly accused him of being back home. It seemed to be common knowledge that this Radek was after his job, and was not above sinking to startling depths to get it.
By contrast, the Kavanagh of this world was a brown-nosing little weasel and kept bringing Rodney gifts of chocolate and coffee with such startling frequency that Sheppard finally had to kick him out of the lab. The whole scenario was wreaking havoc on Rodney’s ability to concentrate, and it wasn’t until Elizabeth came to take them to lunch that Rodney realized how many surreal hours had passed.
Rodney knew she was checking up on him, but all the explanation she gave was, “You know how John gets. He’d waste away to nothing if someone didn’t make sure to drag him away from the lab once in a while.” Sheppard snorted and rolled his eyes, and Elizabeth smiled at Rodney as if sharing a private joke. Her smile faltered when she realized Rodney was staring at her hair.
Once at the mess, Elizabeth guided them over to a table where Ronon and Teyla were already seated, and Rodney’s stomach dropped. Neither of them looked happy, and with good reason. Ronon had shown up at Rodney’s door at some unholy hour of the morning, expecting to take him out on the morning run and sparring session he and Rod normally shared. The normally unflappable Ronon had actually raised a wary eyebrow at the horror of an uncaffeinated McKay, and didn’t seem to appreciate the groggy insults to his intelligence and the command to go find Sheppard instead.
Ronon had blinked at him stoically. “He never spars with me. He doesn’t like to lose,” he'd rumbled by way of explanation.
“Well, neither do I!” Rodney had shouted into his pillow. “Now go away!”
Teyla, for her part, had not said one word to him. She had looked in on him briefly during the interrogation, but had since given him a wide berth.
They made small talk for a while, and Rodney somehow inadvertently managed to insult everyone at the table. John, who had conducted the interrogation and spent all day in the lab with Rodney, had gotten over his shock at the occasional bursts of acidic sarcasm. Everyone else simply gaped at him. Teyla’s raised eyebrow was the closest thing to an expression Rodney had seen on her face since he arrived.
Midway through the meal, Sheppard handed Rodney his radio with a sour look. “It’s for you,” he explained.
“Dr. McKay?” Dr. Esposito’s voice came through softly. “I hate to bother you, but the transporters are acting up on level three, and since you know the systems better than anyone…” Esposito gave a shy giggle. Rodney puffed his chest a little. Okay, so she obviously didn’t realize she wasn’t talking to Rod, but really, that was just semantics.
Elizabeth tapped her radio. “I’m sorry, Dr. McKay is…indisposed at the moment. Perhaps Dr. Zelenka would be a better choice.”
“Zelenka? Are you kidding me? He’d probably use the opportunity to rig something up to vaporize me as soon as I stepped into the transporter. No, no, no, I’ll do it.” He stuffed the last half of a cupcake in his mouth, then remembered Sheppard and mumbled, “I mean, if you can spare me.”
Sheppard’s expression wavered between disgust and exasperation. “I think I can manage,” he said, infusing the statement with as much sarcasm as he could.
Rodney rolled his eyes at that and left, pointedly ignoring the relieved glances everyone threw each other.
~~~
By the time Rodney made it back to the lab, it was deserted except for Sheppard. He was slumped over a laptop, out cold and snoring slightly. His face was smashed half on top of the keyboard, his glasses askew, the shifting light of the screensaver washing over his features. There were at least seven coffee cups littered around his workstation.
Rodney had to take a moment to pause in the doorway and just look. Even in sleep, his Sheppard had never looked this, well…this vulnerable. “Sheppard?” he called quietly into the stillness of the lab. When Sheppard didn’t stir, Rodney reached out to not-quite touch John’s shoulder. “Sheppard,” he said again, a little louder this time.
Sheppard’s body jerked awake, but it took a moment for his brain to follow. Fumbling to straighten his glasses, he blinked and said, “What time is it?”
Rodney just peered at him. Sheppard tiredly pressed fingers to his eyes behind his glasses. “Late,” Rodney finally replied. “Or early, depending on how you want to look at it.” Sheppard picked up an empty coffee cup and glared blearily at it, as if it had somehow betrayed him. “Look, maybe…And if you tell anyone I said this, I will shave your head in your sleep—but maybe it’s time to call it a night,” Rodney suggested.
Sheppard turned his betrayed look on Rodney. “That’s not an option, McKay. I’m getting him back. I don’t know what it’s like where you come from but around here we don’t leave our people behind!”
“Oh, for god’s sake!” Rodney rolled his eyes. “From what I understood, everyone figured it was a one-way trip when you let him go!”
“I didn’t let him go! It was his own stupid—” John shouted, then seemed to reign in some of his frustration. “I’m not giving up. You may be ready to throw in the towel, but I’ve never failed at anything in my life, and I’ll be damned if I’m gonna start now.”
Sheppard turned back to the laptop with an angry huff, and Rodney very carefully didn’t snort at John’s words. He realized John was telling the truth. It would certainly explain a lot. The way Sheppard had to go above and beyond what was expected of him, determined to impress everyone around him, the way he snapped at anyone who dared to question his work, they way he seemed obsessed with being the perfect soldier.
After a few moments of listening to Sheppard tap the keys with a ferocity that couldn’t be good for the equipment, Rodney very deliberately laid a hand on Sheppard’s shoulder. He stiffened under Rodney’s palm, and Rodney tried not to think about how back on Atlantis, his Sheppard had always initiated any touching that had gone on between them. “I’m not saying you have to give up,” Rodney said. “But you’re not doing anyone any favors if you collapse on the keyboard and idiotically blow up half the city. Come back tomorrow, and we can start fresh.”
Sheppard looked like he was stubbornly refusing to be hopeful. “We?”
Rodney stuck his chin out defensively. “Yes, ‘we.’ But only because I think you had something when you were trying to calculate the rate of electron spin in an inverted wormhole.”
“Really? I thought you said—”
“Tomorrow, Sheppard.”
~~~
When Rodney got back to his guest quarters, he hacked Sheppard’s file. It was ridiculously easy, since Rod had obviously set up the security codes. What he found wasn’t terribly surprising at first.
Sheppard had become a member of Mensa at age 17, just before attending the Air Force Academy on an academic scholarship. He’d graduated with a degree in aerospace engineering, then had gone on to MIT for a dual master in engineering and applied math. He never became a pilot due to his poor eyesight, but his vision at least fell within the 20/200 range that allowed him to become a flight navigator.
He had been commended in Afghanistan for assisting in the rescue of a downed helicopter captain, and had been recruited by Elizabeth to work in Antarctica, researching the drone propulsion system. Rodney suspected that no matter how Sheppard had gotten there, the chair had been just as much of a surprise here as it had been in Rodney’s reality.
The shock came when Rodney reached the mission reports. John was apparently cautious to a fault. He never rushed into any situation without a plan, and readily followed orders. He seemed to rely on Rod for any guesswork or quick thinking. While that wasn’t entirely surprising, the rest of Sheppard’s service record was impeccable. Rodney stayed up until dawn, reading the mission reports and remembering what his Sheppard was like, back home.
~~~
The next morning, Rodney walked into the lab to find Sheppard bent over the same laptop he’d been forced to abandon last night. Their eyes met and after an awkward moment, Sheppard gave him a terse nod. Rodney returned it with a sigh, then said, “Show me what you’ve got.” If Rodney was going to do this for Sheppard, he was at least going to do it right.
Progress was slow at first. They tiptoed around each other for a while until Sheppard seemed satisfied that Rodney was there to help, not hinder as he’d done before. The underlying competitive streak Rodney had shared with his Sheppard somehow snuck into his dealings with this Sheppard.
Sheppard took great pleasure in correcting Rodney’s work. At one point, he leaned over Rodney’s shoulder and pointed to the result of his calculations. “Are you positive that’s the right answer?”
Momentarily distracted by how similar this Sheppard’s scent was to the way he remembered his Sheppard smelling, like soap and gun oil and cheap aftershave, Rodney almost missed the question. “Yes, I’m sure,” Rodney snapped distractedly.
“But are you positive?” he said again, and Rodney squinted at his work. Frowning, he realized he’d reversed the polarity, and grudgingly changed the negative to a positive. He glanced up to see Sheppard smirking at him, and he had to roll his eyes to cover up the way that look made him just a little homesick.
By the end of the day, Rodney was exhausted, but in a good way. He’d been unable to resist the lure of solving the unsolvable problem, and he’d been allowed to work all day relatively uninterrupted. Sheppard and Kavanagh were the only two people in the lab willing to come within a ten foot radius of Rodney, all of the others too put off by his acerbic arrogance, so different from the Rod they knew. Even Radek had stopped making debasing comments after the third or fourth time Rodney had put him in his place, and he had finally resigned himself to puttering around his section of the lab and grumbling darkly in Czech.
Rodney’s stomach rumbled and he flinched as Kavanagh clapped him on the back in a friendly manner. “You’ve been working hard all day, Dr. McKay,” he said with a warm grin, all teeth. “Why don’t you grab something to eat and call it a night? I’ll clean up your station for you.”
Rodney eyed him warily until his stomach sounded its agreement with that plan. “Yeah,” he said, suddenly feeling very tired. “That actually sounds like a good idea.”
“If you’re feeling up to it later, we’re having a Mensa meeting after dinner tonight. I know the other Dr. McKay never came, but I thought, well…you look like you could use a break.” Motioning across the room to Sheppard, Kavanagh added, “Both of you.”
Rodney glanced at Sheppard, watching as he tiredly rubbed the bridge of his nose under the glasses. “Yeah,” Rodney agreed. “Maybe.”
Despite Rodney’s reluctance, after dinner he found himself outside Kavanagh’s quarters. He could hear something of a commotion inside, but he couldn’t make out the words. Although one of the voices was clearly Sheppard’s. Rodney wondered if maybe all the yelling was about him, if Kavanagh had let slip that he’d invited Rodney. Deciding he’d rather not discover just how unwelcome he was in this universe too, Rodney turned to leave just as the door opened on its own.
His presence went largely ignored, the occupants of the room too wrapped up in the shouting match taking place between Sheppard and Zelenka.
“Oh, please!” Sheppard scoffed. “Everything about that movie is wrong! Do you have the slightest idea of how mathematically impossible time travel is?”
“This coming from the man who tried to build a working model of a flux capacitor,” Radek sneered.
Sheppard crossed his arms as his scowl deepened. “First of all, I was twelve. And second of all, the equations I derived at that age make your theories on gravitational quanta look like—”
The sound of Kavanagh clearing his throat cut the argument short, and a dozen pairs of wide eyes turned to Rodney, still hovering in the doorway. Simpson closed her gaping mouth long enough to stutter, “Dr. McKay?”
Rodney was on the verge of escaping with some mumbled excuse about having the wrong room when Sheppard called out, “What do you think, McKay? What’s the worst sci fi movie ever made?”
Accepting the challenge in Sheppard’s tone, Rodney stepped over the threshold. “Armageddon. No question.”
The night wore on in much the same manner, filled mostly with good-natured debates over topics like the feasibility of nth-dimensional space and the merits of various incarnations of Doctor Who. Everyone seemed to put up with Radek’s sour attitude simply because he provided the booze, and when Rodney took his first swig of the foul concoction he was pleased to note that some things never changed. The mood in the room lifted after Sheppard challenged Radek to a prime-not-prime battle to the death—and inevitably won. Radek was too busy sulking to ruin the fun for everyone else.
Sometime after the third round of Beer Trek, Rodney flopped down next to Sheppard on the couch and said, “Is that why you never train with Ronon?”
Sheppard took a drink as a red shirt died onscreen, then blinked at Rodney. “What?”
“Your pathological fear of failure. Is that why you never train with Ronon? Because you know he’ll kick your ass?”
Sheppard’s expression grew shuttered behind his glasses, and Rodney had enough presence of mind to realize that maybe Radek’s booze was making him even less tactful than usual. “I just mean—”
“I know what you mean, McKay,” Sheppard bit out, looking like he wanted nothing more than to bolt from the room. “And I really don’t think that’s any of your business.”
“Right. Sorry. I just—I thought we could relate.” He blinked tipsily. “Or something.”
“You want to bond over mutual psychoses?” Sheppard scrunched his eyebrows and frowned. “You’re really bad at this.”
“Yeah, well, if this is how you treat everyone who tries to befriend you then you’re no better at it than me,” Rodney huffed.
They sat on the couch in silence for a while, then Sheppard slowly turned to Rodney. “You play chess?”
The corner of Rodney’s mouth twitched upwards. “Prepare to learn what it’s like to fail, Sheppard.”
~~~
One quiet afternoon in the lab, Rodney was checking the latest readouts when he heard Sheppard say, “You never call me John.”
Rodney glanced over to find Sheppard staring a little too intently at his laptop, like he hadn’t just dropped that statement into the room out of nowhere. “What?”
“It’s just, Rod sometimes called me John, and you never do,” Sheppard said into his laptop.
Rodney considered him for a moment. “You never call me Rodney,” he countered. Another pause while Sheppard pretended to be engrossed in his own readouts. “Do you want me to?” Rodney finally asked.
Sheppard just shrugged. They never said anything more about it, but by unspoken agreement they started calling each other by their first names.
~~~
A week later, they went on their first mission.
Teyla had seemed cautiously optimistic about the planet, a potential trading partner the Athosians had a limited but successful history with. Still, Rodney found it disconcerting the way she felt the need to qualify all her statements with things like, “They seem to be a peaceful people, but I would advise you to bring small, concealable weapons.”
When they were suiting up in the room that passed for the men’s locker, Rodney saw Ronon adding extra knives to his hair. “Are you sure this mission is such a good idea?” he asked. “Teyla seemed rather…concerned.”
John frowned. “Teyla’s always like that,” he said. “She’s had enough ‘allies’ turn around to bite her in the ass that she doesn’t trust anyone too easily anymore. On that first mission, she was about to kick us off her planet if the Wraith hadn’t arrived.”
Rodney was still processing this information when they stepped through the gate. He hazarded an assessing glance at Teyla, and realized he’d actually heard Ronon utter more words than her in the time he’d been on this Atlantis. Rod hadn't been exaggerating when he'd said she was hard to talk to.
An hour later, they passed the same tree for what Rodney swore was the third time. “How can you have such a bad sense of direction? I thought you were a navigator.”
John’s lips thinned in frustration. “Everything looks different from the air,” he muttered, then slid his eyes sideways to glare at Rodney. “Wait a minute, did you hack my file?”
Rodney was saved from answering when the path opened up to reveal a small village. John gave Rodney a superior glower, then took the lead.
The village was run by a triumvirate of leaders, two men and one woman. Introductions seemed to go off without a hitch, and the woman even seemed to have a rudimentary knowledge of some basic scientific principals. She even offered to show them some of the Ancient artifacts in the temple.
As they followed her lead, John leaned over and whispered, “Rodney, stick close to me. I know you’re not Rod, but we can’t afford for you to go wandering off after the first damsel in distress you find. Remember, this is a scientific mission.”
“Oh, har har,” Rodney started, but then got a good look at John’s face. “Wait, seriously? You think she’d—”
John grimaced. “Just try to keep it in your pants this time, Kirk.”
~~~
As so often seemed to happen in the Pegasus galaxy, half an hour later Rodney and John found themselves running for their lives.
They’d gotten separated from Ronon and Teyla, and were pinned down near the tree line. Sheppard let out a burst of gunfire over Rodney’s head as Rodney tracked their pursuers’ movements on the life signs detector. Things weren’t looking good.
John slumped down next to Rodney behind the fallen tree they were using for cover. “So, what’s our situation?”
Rodney’s eyes hadn’t left the life signs detector. “Six of them in the forest, more on their way. Closing fast.”
“And I’m almost out of ammo.” John bit his lip. “Their cover’s too good. We need something to draw them out in the open.”
John rechecked his clip and Rodney withdrew his Beretta from his thigh holster. “Yeah, okay,” he said, then took off. He shot blindly into the trees, running low across the open field towards an upturned boulder. The ground exploded at his feet as bullets impact the dirt, and distantly he heard John’s voice shouting his name, then a long burst of P-90 fire.
Rodney was nearly to the boulder when John buzzed by him, grabbing his arm and pulling him to the dry river bed below, hidden by the hillside. He hauled Rodney along at breakneck speeds, trying to put as much distance between them and their pursuers as possible.
Rodney’s lungs were burning and his legs were threatening to buckle by the time John yanked Rodney by the front of his tac vest and slammed him up against cool rock. Rodney blinked and tried to catch his breath, noticing John had somehow pulled him into a small, secluded outcropping of rock. The sound of heavy footsteps and voices shouting orders could be heard on the hilltop above them, and both men held their breath until the noises died away. A split second later John’s face was inches from Rodney’s as he angrily spat, “What the hell was that, McKay?” John shook him by the vest, refocusing Rodney’s attention on his furious expression. “You can’t just do things like that, not when—” John paused, then shoved himself away from Rodney, who barely managed to hold himself upright without John’s weight pinning him. “God, that is just like you! Doing something stupidly noble like that without thinking about—I can’t lose you again!”
John swallowed hard, and his breath was coming in short, angry huffs. The air grew still and tense between them. Rodney took a shaky step forward, and the next thing he knew he was pressing against John’s body, their mouths coming together in a hot, desperate kiss. John’s hands instantly came up to frame Rodney’s face, his mouth opening to let Rodney’s tongue inside, meeting it with his own. John pushed him up against the rocks for the second time in as many minutes, shoving a thigh between Rodney’s legs and grinding their hips together, making Rodney gasp into John’s mouth.
“Colonel Sheppard, we have secured the gate,” Teyla’s voice was clipped and tinny over the radio.
They froze, and after a minute John reluctantly pulled back. He stared at Rodney for several long seconds, mouth wet and eyes dark behind his glasses. They barely breathed.
“Sheppard, you coming?” Ronon asked through the radio.
“Yeah,” John said, taking a step back and licking his lips. “We’re on our way.”
~~~
The post-mission debriefing seemed longer and more tedious than usual. Rodney kept casting furtive glances across the table, but John had stubbornly refused to look at him since they’d gated back from the planet. When Elizabeth finally dismissed them, John couldn’t seem to leave the room fast enough.
Rodney spent a good half hour simultaneously moping and freaking out in his guest quarters before the door opened without a knock. John hovered in the doorway, and for a long time neither one of them said anything. Finally, Rodney spoke. “I’m not him.”
John held his fists at his side. “Neither am I.”
Rodney let out the breath he’d been holding, then crossed the room and pulled John inside by the front of his shirt. The kiss was fast and dirty, and before Rodney knew it John had him up against the wall, in the same position as before, right where they’d left off.
Rodney felt like something inside of him was tearing wide open. He wasn’t sure if what he was feeling was guilt or relief or comfort, or maybe all three, or maybe something else entirely. He was lost in the feeling of John’s hands on his body, John’s lips against his, only this wasn’t really John. But he wanted it to be, and the more they touched the harder it was for Rodney to distinguish reality from the bone deep ache he’d felt since watching his John’s face vanish in a haze of white light. Then John shoved one hand down the front of Rodney’s BDUs, stroking his cock as he lightly bit his neck, and Rodney stopped trying to think, could do nothing but feel as he arched into the touch.
“God, I miss you,” John whispered into the hollow of Rodney’s collarbone, just quiet enough that Rodney suspected John didn’t know he’d said it, or that Rodney wasn’t meant to hear. Then John slid to his knees and started fumbling Rodney’s pants open with shaking hands, a look of intense concentration on his face. Rodney watched his cheeks turn an endearing shade of pink at the sight of his freed erection. John couldn’t have done this very often, or at all, if the sight of another man’s cock could make him flush to the tips of his ears.
“John, if you’ve never…I mean, you don’t have to…” John seemed to take Rodney’s stuttered words as a personal challenge, because it earned Rodney a black-framed glare and then a hot, wet mouth around the end of his cock. Rodney groaned and let his head fall back against the wall.
John sucked Rodney’s cock in and out of his mouth, gagging a few times when desperation and inexperience combined to make him go too deep, too fast. Rodney stilled him with gentle fingers through his hair, and John actually whimpered around the head of Rodney’s cock, then leaned into the touch like a cat. Rodney moaned, wishing he could see the shadows of John’s eyelashes fluttering against his cheeks, but the view was blocked by the rim of his glasses.
John was a genius, a Mensa member, a fucking rocket scientist, so of course it didn’t take him long to learn how to give a mind-numbing blowjob. He pumped Rodney’s shaft with his fist and licked around the head, and all too soon Rodney gasped, “Oh, John, oh god, I’m gonna…” And then John took him as deep as he could, sucking hard as Rodney came in his mouth.
Rodney drifted back from his orgasm to find John’s face pressed against his thigh. He was thrusting into one hand as the other worked the head of his cock. Rodney only had a second to enjoy the sight before John threw his head back and came with a strangled groan, hands slowing as he trembled through his release.
They stayed like that until their breathing began to even out. Rodney’s knees felt like water, and John was clinging to Rodney’s leg like he might fall away to nothing if he let go. After a long time, John mumbled against Rodney’s inseam, “I’m not giving up on the bridge.”
Rodney sighed and ran lax fingers through John’s hair. “I didn’t expect you to.”
They clumsily made their way to the bed, belatedly stripping before collapsing in a tangle of limbs, and Rodney barely got John’s glasses off before John smashed his face into the pillow and started snoring. Rodney smiled despite himself and curled up against John’s back, determined to make sure they took their time with each other in the morning.
~~~
The weeks went by and Rodney almost got used to having John in his bed. It was so close to what he’d wanted, if he ignored the way the second syllable of his name always came a little late on John’s lips. But he liked the way John would curl up against his side in sleep, and when Rodney ran his hands over John’s body he always pictured a few more battle scars than he actually felt. It wasn’t perfect, what they had, but sometimes it was close.
Then it all changed.
Rodney was on his way out of the lab when it happened. He was supposed to meet John for dinner in the mess, and they were serving real meatloaf and mashed potatoes. Understandably, he was in something of a rush, but then he heard it. The echo of a fizzy, popping noise, and then…
“Rodney!” a voice called from behind him. He knew there was only one person who said his name like that, and it wasn’t anyone born in this universe.
Spinning on his heel, Rodney took in the figure barreling down the corridor. “Sheppard?” he gaped.
“What the hell were you thinking?” Sheppard bellowed, Rod trailing after him, and then he was suddenly surrounded by marines.
~~~
Elizabeth took Rod into her office to help explain the situation, because Rodney and Sheppard were too busy yelling at each other for anyone to get a word in edgewise.
“So, you thought you were doing me a favor? That is hands-down the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard!” Sheppard yelled, red-faced. “Did you really think I wouldn’t come after you at the first chance I got?”
“Yes!” Rodney shouted back, and had a brief pang of guilt at Sheppard’s obvious hurt. “And it’s been over two months, Colonel! I hardly think this is the first chance you got!”
“You blew out the ZPM, Rodney! It’s not like I could just pop in a new set of batteries and be on my way!”
“Rodney,” John’s voice came quietly from the doorway, but his tone was clipped and even, the way he got when he was upset. Rodney felt a migraine coming on. “Can you give us a minute, Colonel?” Sheppard eyed his other self warily, but John just crossed his arms and held his gaze. Sheppard nodded reluctantly, then gave Rodney a look that clearly said they weren’t finished here before stomping from the room.
John crossed the room quietly, stopping in front of Rodney. “You should go with him,” he said at length, then skimmed a hand up Rodney’s arm, from wrist to elbow. “We both know you want to.”
The thing was, Rodney wasn’t so sure about that. He’d left in the first place because he didn’t think there was anything left for him there. He didn’t see how any of that had changed.
A throat cleared in the doorway, and they both turned to see Rod standing there, watching them. John slowly dropped his hand from Rodney’s arm and looked at him with soft eyes. Rodney may not be jumping at the chance to leave, but he knew he couldn’t stay. He couldn’t watch John and Rod together every day. Rodney felt a lump form in his throat. “Look, just because there was a happy ending for you doesn’t mean there’s one for me!” he choked out, then hurried from the room.
Rodney was stomping towards his quarters when he felt a hand on his arm. “What?” he shouted angrily, turning sharply. He was surprised to find Teyla looking back at him, face unreadable. “Oh, sorry. Um, what?”
“Dr. McKay,” she began, then faltered, as if not quite knowing how to put together her words. After a moment, she said, “I have enough experience with deception to know that the reasons you gave during the interrogation were not the true reasons that you came here.” She paused and met Rodney’s eyes. “I do not know why you came here, but aside from this, I do know that you have not lied to us about anything else.” Rodney blinked, and she took a step closer. “I admit, though I know his intentions are good, I have a difficult time trusting Rod. I sometimes believe he is simply telling me what he believes I wish to hear.” A small smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. “I do not believe that is the case with you. You have my trust, Dr. McKay, freely given. You should take that as the honor it is intended to be.”
Rodney just stared, struck dumb by her words, and she gently laid strong hands on his shoulders. She pulled him forwards until their foreheads met, then pulled back to give him a warm smile and a quirked eyebrow. “For what it is worth, I do not believe I am the only one who values this quality among your many gifts.”
And with that, she was gone. John caught up to him in the empty corridor several minutes later.
“John,” Rodney said, “I’m going home.”
~~~
Rodney was welcomed home with open arms, literally in Elizabeth’s case. She hugged him tight and whispered into his ear, “Don’t you ever do that to us again.” Ronon had simply grunted and given him five extra pudding cups at lunch. Things quickly went back to normal after that.
Rodney’s first mission back was to MKX-785. The people were warm and hospitable, and Rodney was thankful for an easy mission for once. The villagers threw a party in honor of the new trade agreement, complete with dancing and food and lots of wine, and at the end of the night Rodney fell asleep in a warm, soft bed. The next morning came too soon, and Rodney was still in that middle ground between awake and asleep when he felt someone gently grasp his shoulder. “Time to get up, Rodney.”
Still barely conscious, Rodney reached out to grasp the hand on his shoulder, recognizing it by touch. He knotted their fingers together and settled their twined hands against his chest, breathing out in a sleepy sigh, “G’back t’sleep, John.”
Rodney hung on the precipice a minute longer, and then he fell into wakefulness with a start. He opened his eyes to see Sheppard looking back at him, his gaze cold and distant. Slowly, Sheppard extricated his hand from Rodney’s.
“Gather your stuff, McKay,” he said tonelessly. “We’re heading back.”
~~~
Hours later, Rodney stepped inside his darkened quarters, and it took him a moment to realize Sheppard was there waiting for him. He was standing by the bed, arms crossed and shoulders hunched in a posture so reminiscent of the way the other John had stood that Rodney had to close his eyes and breathe.
“You called him John.” Sheppard’s voice was quiet, but there was an edge to it. When Rodney didn’t say anything for a while, Sheppard continued in an even quieter voice, “What else did you do?”
Rodney wanted to lie. He wanted to look Sheppard in the eyes and say, “Nothing. I have no idea what you’re talking about.” What came out was, “Don’t play dumb, Colonel. It’s not a good look for you.”
Sheppard looked like he’d just taken a punch to his gut. After several of the most tense seconds of Rodney’s life, Sheppard said in a vengeful rush, “I kissed Rod.”
Of all the things Rodney had expected Sheppard to say, that wasn’t even on the list. He was struck completely dumb, left staring into the middle distance, not knowing what to think. When Sheppard didn’t get a response, he seemed to give in to his desire to run and shoved swiftly past Rodney. Without conscious thought, Rodney’s hand latched on to Sheppard’s arm as he passed. “John, I—”
“Don’t call me that!” he said, shrugging out of Rodney’s grip and whirling around so fast Rodney had to take a step back.
Rodney just blinked at him, holding his hands out like a person would to a frightened wild animal. “Okay, Sheppard, it’s…I’m sorry.”
That was all it took. All the fight drained out of Sheppard, and he crumpled in on himself, pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes. “God, I just…I walked into the lab, and his face lit up over something, I don’t know, and it reminded me…I just missed you so damn much.”
Rodney took a hesitant step forward. “Well, I’m here now,” he offered helpfully.
The next thing Rodney knew he was being crushed and suffocated. Sheppard’s arms were clamped tight around his ribs, his mouth on Rodney’s like he was trying to suck the air from his lungs. Sheppard pulled back just as Rodney was getting lightheaded. “God, Rodney, I’m so sorry,” he mumbled between pressing kisses into the skin of Rodney’s neck. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you…didn’t show…” And then his lips were on Rodney’s again, gentler this time. “No one but you, Rodney…I don’t want anyone but you.” Slowly, Rodney felt the stiffness in his spine start to melt away, and he opened his mouth to Sheppard’s kisses.
They lost their clothing somewhere between the doorway and the bed. Sheppard fell back onto the thin comforter, pulling Rodney with him, unwilling to let even an inch of space come between them. They touched each other everywhere, cocks, chest, neck, stomach, a mix of too much and not enough skin all at once. Rodney slipped his tongue into Sheppard’s mouth and felt Sheppard gasp and moan, chest hitching under Rodney’s fingertips. Sheppard’s hand came up to cover his, pressing his palm flat over Sheppard’s frantic heartbeat.
Rodney watched, entranced, as Sheppard lifted his hand to his mouth and pressed his velvet-soft lips to the palm. He turned Rodney’s hand to cup his face, nuzzling it with his cheek before kissing it again. “I missed these hands,” he whispered.
“Why?” Rodney couldn’t help whispering back. “You could look at Rod’s every day.”
“They don’t move like yours,” Sheppard answered, then sucked the tip of Rodney’s index finger into his mouth. When he bit it gently between his teeth, the sensation rocketed straight to Rodney’s cock, and he groaned low in his chest. Sheppard responded with a matching groan as he pulled Rodney down into a deep, wet kiss. “Rodney, I need—put your hands on me. Please.”
The sound of Sheppard begging just for his hands nearly undid Rodney. He skimmed his hands down from Sheppard’s neck, over his chest, and followed the line of hair down his stomach. When he wrapped one broad hand around Sheppard’s rock hard cock, Sheppard’s hips lifted off the bed with a sharp cry. Rodney pressed his other hand to Sheppard’s stomach to steady him, drawing soothing circles with his thumb just below Sheppard’s navel. Rodney’s hand on Sheppard’s cock wasn’t even moving, but the needy, breathless sounds Sheppard was making were amazing.
On a whim, Rodney lifted his hand from Sheppard’s stomach and grabbed the small bottle of lotion he kept on his nightstand. He fumbled it opened and slicked up two fingers, then pressed just the tips against Sheppard’s entrance. Sheppard moaned, loud and long, and spread his legs wider. “Yeah, Rodney, oh. Do it,” he urged.
Rodney pushed one finger inside, watching it disappear into Sheppard’s body. His other hand began slowly working Sheppard’s cock, rubbing his thumb over the moisture at the tip. Sheppard all but stopped breathing, body trembling like he was going to fly apart. It only got better when Rodney added a second finger. “Oh my god, you are so fucking hot,” he muttered. “I had no idea you were like this.”
“Only for you,” Sheppard managed between panting breaths, and Rodney couldn’t hold back the groan that seemed to come from every part of his body at once.
“Sheppard, I want—can I—”
“Yes,” he nearly shouted. “God, please, Rodney. Please.”
Rodney felt like he couldn’t get his cock slicked up fast enough, and then he was right there, pressing inside Sheppard’s tight, hot body. The hand still on Sheppard’s cock started moving faster in time with his thrusts. Sheppard’s legs wrapped around Rodney’s waist, back arching a little higher with each thrust, until finally he threw his head back with a silent gasp and came. The feeling of Sheppard’s muscles clenching around Rodney’s cock set off his own orgasm, and he shouted Sheppard’s name before he collapsed against his chest, sweaty and spent and utterly satisfied.
Afterwards, Rodney felt Sheppard’s fingers threading through his hair, all but petting him, but he somehow couldn’t muster the energy to be properly indignant about it. Sliding up Sheppard’s body, he mashed his face against Sheppard’s shoulder and said, “We should definitely do that at least once a day for the rest of our lives.”
Sheppard’s hands paused in his hair, just for a moment, before they resumed their stroking. “Deal,” he said. “But on one condition.”
“Yes, yes,” Rodney sleepily grumbled his assent. “Only if it’s you. No doppelgangers allowed.” He yawned into Sheppard’s neck. “Only you.”
Rodney felt Sheppard smile into his hair. “Only you.”
~fin~
[Poll #975104]
