This is wonderful, and painful. At the start I didn't know what exactly John was hiding, but then he slowly reveals his secret and it was both bigger and smaller than I expected. Especially with Rod trying to show him that he could be happy on Atlantis.

The scene in the sauna was sharp and desperate and I was afraid it was only going to break John further, but then they get out and he opens up, just a little, just enough, and it was such a relief, a close-to happy ending.